Why? The answer is ego,pride and selfishness. Two things that should never exist when love is true and real. Lets face it, we all make mistakes - no one is perfect. Admitting this is a real challenge for most. But let us think about it, why hold back on an apology to the one you love, when we do not even think twice when the boss or a colleague or friend demands or deserve an apology?. It is all about priorities!!!. If we get our priorities right, the world would be a better place and there would be many happy couples, really in love.
I want to tell you about what happened last week when I returned home after being gone for 3 days. While gone I was taking care of my 86 year old mother and a very close friend who is also 86. I do this every 3 weeks. I love my mother and my friend, who is like a mother to me as well, but when I am there I run nonstop to get everything done in the time allowed. When I returned home after a drive of 1 1/2 hours, I had to unload my car which was full of groceries and other things and put them away. It was after 7 by the time this was finished and my husband wanted dinner. I was at the end of my rope by this time, stressed and tired from the three days. I flew off the handle at him and said "You were home all day, you know I am tired when I come home, you know how to cook, you could of thought of me and put something together for dinner". With that he got up and fixed us a simple but filling meal. I felt so bad that I took out my frustrations on him and later apologized for my behavior. But I am sure when I go again in three weeks that he will have planned dinner for us when I return because he knows I will be dealing with the same pressures. One thing we have done for over 25 years together is to never go to bed mad at each other. There are real rewards for not going to bed angry with your partner.
If you are not sure what to do next, there are 4 ways to say you are sorry. A simple apology for an unintended act, a long serious talk, the giving of a gift, and making a date.
Small Issues Apology
This one is the Simple Apology. Do not let your ego get in the way for a small issue when you need to say I'm sorry, do it. If you forgot to call or meet when you were suppose to, just apologize and mean it. Would you not want to be treated the same?
Long Serious Talk
If you really screwed up you may need to have a long serious talk with your lover. Talk to them about how you made them feel and that you know they are upset, be honest about what you did and steps you plan to take to ensure it will not happen again. Long serious talks are the most heartfelt way to apologize to your partner.
Gift Giving
This can be tricky. If you are backing up your apology with a gift it may seem like a secondary way to apologize for what you did. A gift may not solve your problem, but it can help to make your lover feel better. If you make this extra effort to make them happy, your apology and the gift can be just the right thing to do.
Make a Date
Take your sweetheart out on a date. This will ease the situation that you want to apologize for by enjoying a night out together. The apology is the most important thing, but remembering why you are together should make your apology accepted more easily. Before you actually make the apology, you need to think about what you are apologizing for. If it was a small issue then use the simple apology but if the issue was bigger than that it may require a more intense apology.
If you are struggling, take the time to understand the reason for the apology and the method that is appropriate. If you want to mend your relationship and are truly sorry, say you are sorry in a sincere way. Admitting our mistakes does not mean that we will no longer commit the same mistakes. But saying sorry for the same mistakes does something to our inner consciousness -- it makes us more aware of those mistakes and strengthens our resolve to avoid them until we eventually no longer commit them.
It takes strength and love to apologize. Never admitting mistakes means they will be repeated
No comments:
Post a Comment